Recently I heard an argument (I mean overheard.. yeah!yeah! I know its wrong..still..) about principles. A aged mother was telling her daughter about life & teachings of Sri Ramanujar. While doing so she mentioned that although spreading vaishanvism was his main priority he was famous for his thoughts on equality. As she mentioned this her daughter pounced on her and asked "Amma, if those were his teachings, dont you think that you are being hypocritical by calling yourself a follower of Ramanujar". And before her mother could even gain her standing, she continued, "I mean look at you & people around you, you all are friends with people only in your caste. Not one is married to a person from another caste. How are you talking about equality?"
The first thing I felt on hearing it was like, "Wait a minute, back up! what the heck is she talking about? What has marriage or friends got anything to do with equality?". To be frank, I know nothing about Saint Ramanujar's teaching. And the only things I know about him are that he is a vaishnava saint & was responsible for bringing up vaishnavism when it was dying out (you know... history classes... back from school days!! ringing any bell??). So I really didnt have much idea of what form of equality was the old mom talking about. But I did understand what her daughter was talking about: Principles or should I say, Basic human Principles.
There was a time when this very principle of equality was not understood or accepted. But it is not so anymore. You can not have inequality in a society where co-existence is mantra for survival. In such a place, what is this woman talking about friendship & marriage as forms of equality?
Dont take me wrong, to me equality is not just a survival tactics, to me it is part of being a human, a better human, so I am speaking from that point of view. What does the idea of marriage mean? Do you marry someone to project your values/principles? do you choose your friends based on the caste? I mean do you think like "Ah! Good! This guy is from another caste, I will become friends with him."?? If you do that then you are not making friends nor are you propounding equality. You are just making a group to boost your own ego.
To me (and I believe the most understood definition too), Concept of Equality is: respect for people & their traditions. For that any principle a person may have, are only for betterment of the person as a human & not for evalutation. Friendship & Marriage are brought about by circumstances & not based on principles. A person who has married to propound equality is only lying to himself...
Now back to the Daughter's argument. The only words that irked are marriage & friends. May be she forgot that 'Accepting everyone as they are' is equality. Just because your spouse happens to follow someother God or has different traditions doesnt mean you are a follower of equality. It just means you love the person enough to not let the differences bother you. Are you able to spread that love for everyone around you, not just friends, every single person around (you know to even a person like the beggar who comes dragging himself in to the train..!!) you then you are following equality for equality is not based on religioin or caste but on basic human empathy.
If even a well educated woman such as this daughter is not able to understand this simple concept then I think it is hightime for our society to start working on its basics.
